No Joking Matter

By Doug Sparkes

Imagine this happening to you...One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying sub-machine guns. One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ remain where you are." Immediately, the choir fled, the deacons fled, and most of the congregation fled. Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20. The man who had spoken took off his hood, looked at the preacher and said "Okay Pastor, I got rid of all the hypocrites. Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!" And the two men turned and walked out. Too deep not to pass on...

Several people have emailed me that joke. Every time I received it I could see that it had been forwarded several times already. The email ends with an observation on how “funny” it is that everyone is willing to spread jokes across the Internet, but few people are willing to spread the word of God. Finally, the email challenges the reader to forward its message, “Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me. Are you thinking? Will you share this with people you care about? Or not?” The implication is that unless you are willing to forward the joke then you’re the same as someone unwilling to take a bullet for Jesus.

I hate this joke. I find it judgmental and uncharitable (almost satanic – there, I said it! Okay, I know, I know, I am overreacting!). I understand the joke is only trying to make a point, but I don’t like how it makes its point. It implies many people are lip service Christians (probably true – myself included). It tries to make you worry if you’re a lip service Christian. It feeds on a subconscious worry that maybe you’re not prepared to die for Christ. And if that were the real and only goal of the joke then I doubt it would bother me so much, but it’s not the real and only goal of the joke. The real goal of the joke is to make you feel guilty enough so that you will forward it on to some other Christian and fill him or her with guilt. Its real goal is to perpetuate itself again and again. It’s like some kind of twisted vampire that needs to feed on Christian guilt. Passing the joke on does not make you any more or any less of a Christian. It only shows your gullibility for emotional manipulation – a kind of “mind control” that we need to wake up and guard against. Yes, the joke is just a small and insignificant thing, but we need to be alert. We need to learn how look between the lines and see what is really being said.

Sometime ago, the little Church I like to attend was packed full of people. Extra chairs were brought in, but that wasn’t enough. Many had to stand in back. I recognized the woman sitting in front of me. We had gone to high school together. I had seen her over the years but never once in Church before. I had no idea she was baptized Catholic. It turns out her niece was receiving her 1^st Communion. Her whole family was there. In fact, many whole families were there as many children were receiving their first Communion too. This explained the crowd.

My Church and many others are filled at Christmas and Easter. In the past, I have been frustrated by these “hypocrites” who only come out a couple times of year and keep me from having a great seat unless I arrive really early. I have, on occasion, discounted their spirituality because of their irregular attendance.

One day at Mass all that changed. I don’t exactly remember exactly why or when. I just remember feeling grateful that they arrived. I am now happy to see the Church full regardless of the occasion. I no longer really care if these “sporadic” attendees are deeply committed or not. I am glad they are there.

God calls all of us home. He desires all of us. We are all capable of having weak moments of faith. Until we become martyrs how do we really know if we would take a bullet for Jesus? It’s comforting to think we would. It’s another thing to actually do it.

For me, the Mass is medicine. I see the Church as a great hospital and a warm/loving/nursing Mother. She is there to help us back to health, but she continually respects our decision to refuse healing. However, medicine is medicine. How do I know with any certainty that attending Mass just once won’t plant some kind spiritual seed? How do I know the person who refuses to die for Jesus today won’t be strong tomorrow because they’re attending Mass?

Okay, I am probably taking this e-mail thing too far. I suppose I should stop and remember, “It’s just a harmless joke. Why am I making a big deal about it?” This is true – to some degree. It is, after all, just a joke, but the underlying message disturbs me. It’s judgmental and uncharitable. As genuine Christians, are we not called to be nonjudgmental, to not gossip and to always be charitable?

The joke reminds me of a bumper sticker I’ve seen and equally dislike; “Christians aren’t perfect – just saved.” I believe we have to guard against “Us vs. Them” mentality. When we say things like that we are telling people that we are somehow better than they are. A message like the aforementioned bumper sticker as well as the joke lacks humility. We are not called to gloat. We are called to persevere and run the race until it is completed (Mt. 10:22, Mt. 24:13).

Tertullian (c. 197 ad) and Origen (c. 230 ad) were early Church fathers. Their approved writings are still used to teach today, but somewhere in their lives, both men became apostate. They both drifted from Church teachings and eventually died unrepentant and outside the Church. Their lives prove that nothing is guaranteed. The Bible encourages us to persevere and to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling” (Phil. 2:12). Remember even Peter denied Christ 3 times. Does that make any him less Christian?

Peter, unlike Judas, repented from his actions and in humility approached Jesus. Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. It’s interesting to note that our contemporary translations of that Scriptural passage have lost something important. The English translation has Jesus ask Peter “Do you love me?” And Peter responds, “Yes, Lord. You know I do.” But a literal translation exposes something else worth revealing here. The essence of what Jesus really asked is, “Do you love me totally, with all your heart, mind, body and soul?” To which Peter humbly responds, “I love you as a brother.” What Peter is really saying is “I know I am capable of denying you. I will not brag that I love you totally for my actions speak otherwise. I do love you, Lord. I do. But I dare not boast how much.”

The joke talks about gunmen threatening Christians to discover who is a real Christian and who is not. Suffice to say, prior to the resurrection, all of the Apostles would have fled too (Mk 14:50). The joke, however, doesn’t tell us how many people repented and returned.